I am dating a muslim guy
For the past 9 months or so I have been dating a dear man from Libya who is here for school on a scholarship.From the beginning it has been clear that there are obstacles to our being together and we kept it very casual and light, but in the past few months we have become much, much closer and he expressed his love for me, and now I have allowed myself to love him very dearly also.
He became a citizen a couple of years ago and has no plans to go back to the Middle East (Lebanon).
Like I mentioned earlier he said he loved me and wants a future with me, etc.
However, what just happened a couple hours ago brought our true situation very present to me.
I am a secret to almost everyone he knows, and when he took me out to lunch at his favorite café he asked me not to hug him when I arrived, just shake hands.
He told me that: he will never marry you, he is telling you what he wants to hear, and I can bet money that he will never marry you.
He then went on to say: Muslim men want a whore as a girlfriend and an 18 virgin Muslim as a wife. I by no means consider myself a whore and in fact I have abided by the Muslim laws of premarital sex.
Our caring for each other is very unconditional, but maybe I’m kidding myself to think this could eventually work. Stop now before you tumble further down a hole of degradation and humiliation.
Someone who cares about you won’t keep you a secret. In fact, it’s clear to me that you know all that you need to know, you just want someone to affirm it for you. This situation is so common that over the nearly 2 decades of my life as an adult Muslim, it’s almost become cliché. You will lose more often than you win and for every hard-won, heart-wrenching victory born from arguments, tears, anger, lust, and love, there will be a million small and large losses that rob you of your self-respect.
But he doesn’t know what will happen with his country and situation, so I understand that too. I am beginning to realize that this love may be an impossible hope for me…and maybe there are aspects of his faith that limit him too much to even consider a longer term, more serious relationship, no matter how liberal he seems.
I know the religious and cultural tenants can be very serious and I want to see this situation clearly.
I am very respectful towards him, and I have always been open minded to different people and cultures.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating